Like An Armadillo

My husband has been off work this past week and it’s been wonderful. But now Tuesday is looming (the day he goes back to work) and I feel like I’m falling back into that pit of despair filled with restless ghosts that won’t stop whispering at me. What is the point of life? What is […]

You Are Depression

You scream but no one hears you. You laugh to cover up your agony; why can nobody tell how fake it is? You smile a smile that feels like a grimace, but it must pass off okay because no one rushes to your side. You feel ashamed of your own weakness. Your eyes are open […]

Mad At The World

I am mad at the world And the world’s cruel laugh At the mockery The ridicule The joke that it makes of me. I am mad at the world And its cunning facade At the sneer on its face As it slanders my name Ruthless and cold. I am mad at the world For all […]

No Purpose

Today is a low day. It’s like trudging through treacle, except falling doesn’t taste so sweet. I wish I could just sleep away the day, escape from the suffocating darkness. I wish I could look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what I see. On days like this I wonder what the point […]

Through The Murk

I’m finding it so hard to blog lately. I don’t really know why. It might be because writing a post involves actually pondering my feelings, and I’d rather avoid that. So a brief update: I’m still anxious and I’m still depressed. My medication dose has been increased to 200mg daily (sertraline). I see progress in […]

Killing Instinct

Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]