I’m finding it so hard to blog lately. I don’t really know why. It might be because writing a post involves actually pondering my feelings, and I’d rather avoid that.
So a brief update: I’m still anxious and I’m still depressed. My medication dose has been increased to 200mg daily (sertraline). I see progress in myself in some tiny ways which I suppose is good. But I don’t know if I can trust it to mean anything. It could just be part of the up and down (and down, and down) that is my mental illness.
So life is hard and I’m lonely. There are good things. My children and my husband. My family. But it’s so hard to focus on them when I’m surrounded by darkness so deep I can’t even see myself through the murk.