My husband has been off work this past week and it’s been wonderful. But now Tuesday is looming (the day he goes back to work) and I feel like I’m falling back into that pit of despair filled with restless ghosts that won’t stop whispering at me. What is the point of life? What is […]
I haven’t posted in a very long time. I’m not going to do an update in detail because I doubt it matters. If anyone reads this, just know this: I am still depressed and I am still anxious. My life has changed in various ways and I’ve had ups and downs. But the point is […]
Today I cut myself with a knife because I want someone to care. I told my husband I needed him to be with me today but he went to work anyway. So I cut myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it. I just want him to care. For the record, the cut is pathetic. […]
The answer is to kill myself. That’s it. Simple, really.
Is there any way back Once you’ve fallen from the cliff And plummeted in confidence To a bitter self-loathing? Can you ever love yourself again If gravity only pulls one way?
Today is a low day. It’s like trudging through treacle, except falling doesn’t taste so sweet. I wish I could just sleep away the day, escape from the suffocating darkness. I wish I could look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what I see. On days like this I wonder what the point […]
“Life sucks then you die.” Yeah, I should be so lucky.
Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]
It’s like a literal weight on my body, several times heavier than me, slowly crushing the life out of me. No one else can see it, to them I look fine. Normal. But I’m not. I’m overwhelmed by life. I’m surviving, I’m existing, but I’m not sure for what purpose. I know the suffocating depressed […]
I’ve got a knot in my stomach and I’m drowning in despair. Hello anxiety and depression, feel free to control my body and wreak your havoc. I’m almost too depressed to care. Almost. I just want to escape.