No Purpose

Today is a low day. It’s like trudging through treacle, except falling doesn’t taste so sweet. I wish I could just sleep away the day, escape from the suffocating darkness. I wish I could look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what I see. On days like this I wonder what the point […]

What’s The Point

It’s like a literal weight on my body, several times heavier than me, slowly crushing the life out of me. No one else can see it, to them I look fine. Normal. But I’m not. I’m overwhelmed by life. I’m surviving, I’m existing, but I’m not sure for what purpose. I know the suffocating depressed […]

Daze

I’m in a bit of a daze at the moment. My mood is swinging to and fro without much more than a hint of a trigger to tip the balance. I’m very sensitive and I find myself overreacting a lot. At the moment, my mood is steady which is nice. I’m trying to exist just […]

Waking Nightmare

I want to die. I don’t want to die. I want to escape. If death would be an escape then I want it. I want to cease to be. I want to not exist. I want this nightmare to end. But it’s my life and my reality. I can’t wake up from it. I can’t […]

‘What Is The Point Of You?’

Today’s Daily Prompt asked a really interesting question: To be, to have, to think, to move – which of these verbs is the one you feel most connected to? Or is there another verb that characterises you better? Personally, I think the verb ‘to have’ characterises me, because I feel it’s what I have (or […]

I See Nothing But Mental Illness

I feel like I’m losing grip on who I am. Every day I feel like I’m falling deeper into a blackness that will soon become all-consuming. I’m so frightened. I can’t see a light at the end of this tunnel, and I’m terrified that there isn’t one. What if I’m like this forever? What if […]

Not Fulfilled

I’ve been finding it difficult to blog recently, hence my radio silence. I don’t know why. My anxiety and depression have been quite hard to deal with and I guess that’s affecting my motivation to blog. There’s not really much going on for me right now. My daughter is at school and she’s doing well, […]

The Barbed Wire Fence

I can’t escape There’s a barbed wire fence It’s closing in The only way out is to die But I feel as if I’m dead anyway What is life without this darkness? I cannot remember. All I am And all I feel Is black despair and stifling pressure Existence without purpose Imprisoned in my mind […]