I haven’t posted in a very long time. I’m not going to do an update in detail because I doubt it matters. If anyone reads this, just know this: I am still depressed and I am still anxious. My life has changed in various ways and I’ve had ups and downs. But the point is […]
I can’t breathe I can’t sleep I can’t see I can’t speak I can’t hope I can’t dream I can’t live I can’t be me At least, not the me I used to be
Some days are good. Some days are bad. Some days are a mix. There’s no formula or pattern. Each day is a lottery.
Ever have that feeling where you have a million options and yet you’re bored out of your skull? Snap. I hate this intense lack of interest in life in general. I want to occupy myself, but feel like there’s nothing I want to occupy myself with. Eating is too much hassle. Watching something is too […]
“Life sucks then you die.” Yeah, I should be so lucky.
I don’t like school holidays. I love my kids, but I don’t like having to deal with them 24/7. And as my 4 year old girl is used to attending nursery full time she has a lot of energy to kill, which means hyperactivity, temper issues and disobedience. Argh. I feel like I’m not good […]
I’m finding it so hard to blog lately. I don’t really know why. It might be because writing a post involves actually pondering my feelings, and I’d rather avoid that. So a brief update: I’m still anxious and I’m still depressed. My medication dose has been increased to 200mg daily (sertraline). I see progress in […]
Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]
I feel worthless. I feel ugly. I feel taken for granted. I feel unappreciated. I feel stupid. I feel repulsive. I feel unlovable. I feel disgusting. I feel hated. I feel a burden. I feel a disappointment. I feel unimportant. I feel like I’m drowning and nobody has noticed. Nobody looks hard enough to notice. […]
It’s like I’m drowning. Surrounded by oxygen I can’t inhale, oxygen that’s poison in disguise. I can’t shake this low mood today. I feel so lethargic and so intensely depressed. I feel hopeless.