Still Climbing

I haven’t posted in a very long time. I’m not going to do an update in detail because I doubt it matters. If anyone reads this, just know this: I am still depressed and I am still anxious. My life has changed in various ways and I’ve had ups and downs. But the point is […]

Cut

Today I cut myself with a knife because I want someone to care. I told my husband I needed him to be with me today but he went to work anyway. So I cut myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it. I just want him to care. For the record, the cut is pathetic. […]

Nothing

Ever have that feeling where you have a million options and yet you’re bored out of your skull? Snap. I hate this intense lack of interest in life in general. I want to occupy myself, but feel like there’s nothing I want to occupy myself with. Eating is too much hassle. Watching something is too […]

I Am Anxiety And Depression

I don’t like school holidays. I love my kids, but I don’t like having to deal with them 24/7. And as my 4 year old girl is used to attending nursery full time she has a lot of energy to kill, which means hyperactivity, temper issues and disobedience. Argh. I feel like I’m not good […]

Through The Murk

I’m finding it so hard to blog lately. I don’t really know why. It might be because writing a post involves actually pondering my feelings, and I’d rather avoid that. So a brief update: I’m still anxious and I’m still depressed. My medication dose has been increased to 200mg daily (sertraline). I see progress in […]

Killing Instinct

Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]