The Third Kind

I find that trying to articulate aspects of depression helps me to understand myself better. It gives me a perspective. I don’t feel this way right now, but I like to write about how I have felt at times. And here you have it, something that I’ve written that goes some way towards describing one […]

Progress?

So apparently it’s been around two years since my last blog post. I’m not sure why I stopped, and I’m not exactly sure if I’m ‘starting’ again. But I am writing now. Two years and I could say it doesn’t feel like much has changed…but that would be a lie. I think I’m finally making […]

I Defy It

It’s like a weight pressing down on me, whispering hateful words and cruel judgements, accusing and condemning. You’re not good enough. You’re a disappointment. You’re always a disappointment. You’re fat and you’re ugly and who could blame people for not loving you? It’s voices in my head repeating vicious mantras, voices of the enemy, except […]

How To Live

A day when things seem to be getting a bit better. I’m well aware this is probably just the upward slant of the eternal up-and-down wave I’m living called anxiety and depression, but there’s no doubt the upward slant feels a heck of a lot nicer than the downward one. I’m kind of afraid of […]

Still Climbing

I haven’t posted in a very long time. I’m not going to do an update in detail because I doubt it matters. If anyone reads this, just know this: I am still depressed and I am still anxious. My life has changed in various ways and I’ve had ups and downs. But the point is […]

Cut

Today I cut myself with a knife because I want someone to care. I told my husband I needed him to be with me today but he went to work anyway. So I cut myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it. I just want him to care. For the record, the cut is pathetic. […]