My husband has been off work this past week and it’s been wonderful. But now Tuesday is looming (the day he goes back to work) and I feel like I’m falling back into that pit of despair filled with restless ghosts that won’t stop whispering at me. What is the point of life? What is […]
A day when things seem to be getting a bit better. I’m well aware this is probably just the upward slant of the eternal up-and-down wave I’m living called anxiety and depression, but there’s no doubt the upward slant feels a heck of a lot nicer than the downward one. I’m kind of afraid of […]
You scream but no one hears you. You laugh to cover up your agony; why can nobody tell how fake it is? You smile a smile that feels like a grimace, but it must pass off okay because no one rushes to your side. You feel ashamed of your own weakness. Your eyes are open […]
I can’t breathe I can’t sleep I can’t see I can’t speak I can’t hope I can’t dream I can’t live I can’t be me At least, not the me I used to be
Ever have that feeling where you have a million options and yet you’re bored out of your skull? Snap. I hate this intense lack of interest in life in general. I want to occupy myself, but feel like there’s nothing I want to occupy myself with. Eating is too much hassle. Watching something is too […]
Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]
It’s like a literal weight on my body, several times heavier than me, slowly crushing the life out of me. No one else can see it, to them I look fine. Normal. But I’m not. I’m overwhelmed by life. I’m surviving, I’m existing, but I’m not sure for what purpose. I know the suffocating depressed […]
I’ve got a knot in my stomach and I’m drowning in despair. Hello anxiety and depression, feel free to control my body and wreak your havoc. I’m almost too depressed to care. Almost. I just want to escape.
I am completely and utterly exhausted. Having a panic attack has that effect. I despise it. But I’m glad this particular attack is over. I’ll enjoy this break while it’s here.
I feel worthless. I feel ugly. I feel taken for granted. I feel unappreciated. I feel stupid. I feel repulsive. I feel unlovable. I feel disgusting. I feel hated. I feel a burden. I feel a disappointment. I feel unimportant. I feel like I’m drowning and nobody has noticed. Nobody looks hard enough to notice. […]