I find that trying to articulate aspects of depression helps me to understand myself better. It gives me a perspective. I don’t feel this way right now, but I like to write about how I have felt at times. And here you have it, something that I’ve written that goes some way towards describing one […]
I feel so overwhelmed by life.
My husband has been off work this past week and it’s been wonderful. But now Tuesday is looming (the day he goes back to work) and I feel like I’m falling back into that pit of despair filled with restless ghosts that won’t stop whispering at me. What is the point of life? What is […]
It’s like a weight pressing down on me, whispering hateful words and cruel judgements, accusing and condemning. You’re not good enough. You’re a disappointment. You’re always a disappointment. You’re fat and you’re ugly and who could blame people for not loving you? It’s voices in my head repeating vicious mantras, voices of the enemy, except […]
A day when things seem to be getting a bit better. I’m well aware this is probably just the upward slant of the eternal up-and-down wave I’m living called anxiety and depression, but there’s no doubt the upward slant feels a heck of a lot nicer than the downward one. I’m kind of afraid of […]
You scream but no one hears you. You laugh to cover up your agony; why can nobody tell how fake it is? You smile a smile that feels like a grimace, but it must pass off okay because no one rushes to your side. You feel ashamed of your own weakness. Your eyes are open […]
I can’t breathe I can’t sleep I can’t see I can’t speak I can’t hope I can’t dream I can’t live I can’t be me At least, not the me I used to be
Is there any way back Once you’ve fallen from the cliff And plummeted in confidence To a bitter self-loathing? Can you ever love yourself again If gravity only pulls one way?
I am mad at the world And the world’s cruel laugh At the mockery The ridicule The joke that it makes of me. I am mad at the world And its cunning facade At the sneer on its face As it slanders my name Ruthless and cold. I am mad at the world For all […]
Always alone when I need help. That’s what it feels like. My daughter is crying in bed and for some reason I’m having a panic and it’s freezing me so I can’t go to her. She’ll wake up my son and then they’ll both be screaming. My husband was supposed to have finished work nearly […]