Mad At The World

I am mad at the world And the world’s cruel laugh At the mockery The ridicule The joke that it makes of me. I am mad at the world And its cunning facade At the sneer on its face As it slanders my name Ruthless and cold. I am mad at the world For all […]

Sleep Is My Solace

I can only get away From the blackness The pain Agony When I’m asleep Because for a few moments I’m free And I can give myself a break But lately sleep has become harder More elusive And I find myself thinking: What if one day I can’t escape What if I have to spend the […]

I Feel Sick

When I think about it I feel sick. Marriage is meant to mean commitment, right? But he’s been unfaithful to me. He’s said/typed words for other people, which should only have been meant for me. He’s exchanged images with people, so that they’ve seen what should only be mine to see, and he’s seen things […]

Regret

Agony aches my soul Festers and throbs beneath the surface Cruel and cold Destruction of confidence Demolition of courage Regret pierces the darkness Harsh, brutal Pitiless pain Attacks again and again What do I live for? What, if not progression? ‘Love conquers all’ Yet not anymore How can it? For Nothing can erase words already […]

Hypocrisy

Life is fragile, and family is important. My goodness, I feel like such a hypocrite. I’ve been aware of multiple family feuds in my time. Some within my own family, some in my husband’s, some among people I know. And every time without fail, I’ve been so critical of those people involved. I’ve felt so […]

The Toxicity of Hate and Blame

I wonder if having someone to blame helps or hinders. I feel like the reason my anxiety and depression is as severe as it is right now is my mother. I blame her. And at times, I hate her. I hate her when I’m so overwhelmed by life that I want to cease existing. I […]

I’m Lost

I feel lost. I’m just drifting through life but I don’t know why and I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t even know who I am. There are so many voices in my head and I can’t tell what’s rational and what’s not, what’s truth and what’s anxiety. I don’t trust anyone and it’s […]