Today I cut myself with a knife because I want someone to care. I told my husband I needed him to be with me today but he went to work anyway. So I cut myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it. I just want him to care. For the record, the cut is pathetic. […]
I am mad at the world And the world’s cruel laugh At the mockery The ridicule The joke that it makes of me. I am mad at the world And its cunning facade At the sneer on its face As it slanders my name Ruthless and cold. I am mad at the world For all […]
Today is a low day. It’s like trudging through treacle, except falling doesn’t taste so sweet. I wish I could just sleep away the day, escape from the suffocating darkness. I wish I could look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what I see. On days like this I wonder what the point […]
“Life sucks then you die.” Yeah, I should be so lucky.
Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]
I can only get away From the blackness The pain Agony When I’m asleep Because for a few moments I’m free And I can give myself a break But lately sleep has become harder More elusive And I find myself thinking: What if one day I can’t escape What if I have to spend the […]
Day 2 of my re-commitment to blogging…and I have no idea what to write about! I guess I’ll just see where the words take me. This morning was one of the rare moments when I felt able to contact my Mum. My daughter was happily playing with a Christmas present from her (she only opened […]
I’ve been pretty absent from my blog lately. I’ve been finding it difficult to sit down and put my feelings into words. But I’ll try and re-commit to doing it more often. As a brief update: my anxiety and depression is, I feel, on the mend. I’m still on medication (150mg sertraline daily) but I […]
Life is the cruel irony of being so overwhelmed that you’re suffocating, and yet no matter how you yearn for release you don’t die.
Second best Rejected always Alone and pathetic I hate myself