Brightness In The Blackness

Ugh, I’m such a mess. I’m in such a horrible phase right now (at least I hope it’s a phase) where I get these seriously intense low mood patches and it’s honestly terrifying. I feel so hopeless and that there is truly nothing to live for anymore because reality is either too scary or too […]

Mish-mash

I’m finding it so hard to blog at the moment. I don’t know why it’s suddenly so difficult, but I really dislike it. Blogging is helpful and therapeutic for me, as well as boosting my self esteem because I feel I’ve achieved something. So why does it take gargantuan effort to get myself to do […]

Fighting Fear

I’ve been feeling incredibly low over the past few days. I think it’s because of my recent commitment to try my best to trust my husband again and turn over a new slate. As part of this I promised I’d do my best to stop checking up on him and searching through his phone and […]

Daze

I’m in a bit of a daze at the moment. My mood is swinging to and fro without much more than a hint of a trigger to tip the balance. I’m very sensitive and I find myself overreacting a lot. At the moment, my mood is steady which is nice. I’m trying to exist just […]

I Feel Sick

When I think about it I feel sick. Marriage is meant to mean commitment, right? But he’s been unfaithful to me. He’s said/typed words for other people, which should only have been meant for me. He’s exchanged images with people, so that they’ve seen what should only be mine to see, and he’s seen things […]

Hope: A Far-fetched Concept

I feel like a different person to the one I was a few days ago. Recent happenings have changed me and I don’t know what to do. But I know what I want. I want to trust my husband again. I want to make our marriage work. I don’t know how either of those things […]

Black

I’m a paranoid mess of anger and bitterness. I’m laying here at half three in the morning because I can’t get back to sleep. All I keep thinking about is what my husband might be keeping from me. Yesterday I found evidence on his phone that he’d been chatting with a couple of women and […]