Progress?

So apparently it’s been around two years since my last blog post. I’m not sure why I stopped, and I’m not exactly sure if I’m ‘starting’ again. But I am writing now. Two years and I could say it doesn’t feel like much has changed…but that would be a lie. I think I’m finally making […]

Like An Armadillo

My husband has been off work this past week and it’s been wonderful. But now Tuesday is looming (the day he goes back to work) and I feel like I’m falling back into that pit of despair filled with restless ghosts that won’t stop whispering at me. What is the point of life? What is […]

Cut

Today I cut myself with a knife because I want someone to care. I told my husband I needed him to be with me today but he went to work anyway. So I cut myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it. I just want him to care. For the record, the cut is pathetic. […]

Married Life

So on the bright side I managed to calm down enough to deal with my little girl last night. On the down side, I had a massive blow up with my husband this morning. We were both tired and said things we shouldn’t have, and even though he left for work on a good note […]

Through The Murk

I’m finding it so hard to blog lately. I don’t really know why. It might be because writing a post involves actually pondering my feelings, and I’d rather avoid that. So a brief update: I’m still anxious and I’m still depressed. My medication dose has been increased to 200mg daily (sertraline). I see progress in […]

A Little Girl Seeking Validation

I spoke to my Dad today on the phone, and for the first time I was honest with him about how things are with me. I mean, I’m honest all the time, but I’m usually more generic with my responses, giving blanket answers rather than specifics. And I often downplay things a little. But today […]

Being a Mother. Being a Daughter

Day 2 of my re-commitment to blogging…and I have no idea what to write about! I guess I’ll just see where the words take me. This morning was one of the rare moments when I felt able to contact my Mum. My daughter was happily playing with a Christmas present from her (she only opened […]