Choice

I’ve got so many big choices to make. I don’t have to make them right now, but it’s still daunting knowing that sooner or later I’ll be faced with them. One choice is whether to have any more children. I know my husband would like to have more, but it’s such a massive commitment, much […]

Trust Issues and Paranoia

I’m sorry it’s been a few days since my last post. I’ve been finding it hard to get motivated to write about my feelings and I’m not entirely sure why. Things with my husband are going okay, aside from the trust issues that are crippling me right now. I desperately want to trust him, and […]

Introvert

Today I’ve felt fairly low. It started this morning when I checked Facebook and discovered that my old high school friendship group had had a party for one of their 21st birthdays, and they didn’t invite me. They’ve had get-togethers in the past without inviting me and that’s hurt my feelings, but this time it […]

The Toxicity of Hate and Blame

I wonder if having someone to blame helps or hinders. I feel like the reason my anxiety and depression is as severe as it is right now is my mother. I blame her. And at times, I hate her. I hate her when I’m so overwhelmed by life that I want to cease existing. I […]

A Fine Line

I don’t know where to go from here. I desperately don’t want a radio silence to form between myself and my Mum. I don’t want to abandon hope that my relationship with her can be fixed. But I just can’t talk to her right now. Thinking about her instantly triggers my anxiety, with reactions ranging […]