Nothing

Ever have that feeling where you have a million options and yet you’re bored out of your skull? Snap. I hate this intense lack of interest in life in general. I want to occupy myself, but feel like there’s nothing I want to occupy myself with. Eating is too much hassle. Watching something is too […]

Masterpiece Of Misery

I feel worthless. I feel ugly. I feel taken for granted. I feel unappreciated. I feel stupid. I feel repulsive. I feel unlovable. I feel disgusting. I feel hated. I feel a burden. I feel a disappointment. I feel unimportant. I feel like I’m drowning and nobody has noticed. Nobody looks hard enough to notice. […]

Bizarre Weird Strange Feeling

Bizarre thing. I’ve had two energy drinks today because in the past I’ve noticed that they can lift my mood if I’m low. But now I’ve come to the conclusion that it is dependent on the intensity of the low mood as to how effective the drink is. Right now, I feel incredibly low and […]

State Of Mind

I had a doctor’s appointment today (unrelated to my mental health) and even though I felt on the edge of panic a few times sitting in that waiting room with strangers, I am proud to say I kept it under control, and without use of propranolol. I am making progress, I can see that, and […]

I’m A Mess

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I’m finding them increasingly difficult and I’m not sure why. She’s a lovely doctor, I feel likes she cares and takes me seriously. I just find it harder every time to be completely open and honest. My husband doesn’t want me to tell her about his infidelity because […]

You Want To Know What It Feels Like?

I have no idea how to be happy. Not really, truly happy. Not the kind of happy which endures. I have happy moments. And in those moments I feel that the rest of life’s rubbish is worth it for those few moments of calm contentment. But is it really? Should life be like this? Is […]

Disjointed Mess

I’m in a rut. I can’t continue life like this. It’s just too stressful, too hard. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I can’t bear all the tension and just doing the same thing practically every day, driving me mad, drilling into my skull the feeling of being worthless, pathetic. […]