I Defy It

It’s like a weight pressing down on me, whispering hateful words and cruel judgements, accusing and condemning. You’re not good enough. You’re a disappointment. You’re always a disappointment. You’re fat and you’re ugly and who could blame people for not loving you? It’s voices in my head repeating vicious mantras, voices of the enemy, except […]

I Love Living

This will be a happy post, because happy thoughts make a person feel good. I apologise if it’s boring for anyone, you don’t have to read it because it’s mainly for my benefit. I just want to cheer up a bit. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my sisters and my […]

Clifftop

I was hoping recovery would be a straight shot to the finish line, that once I’d started it would be easy and I’d be unstoppable. I knew I was wrong, but I still hoped. But unfortunately my hope was misplaced. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I’m making progress in certain areas of my […]

Happy Happy

Guess what? Today’s been a good day! I can’t remember the last time I had a day that was so undeniably good. The stressful moments were few and far between. It was wonderful. My husband is off work this week and it was lovely spending time with him without feeling subconsciously tense that he’s returning […]

Until Tomorrow

I’m aware that I haven’t posted in a couple of days. It’s just been an extremely exhausting time, and it’s taken its toll on me more than I expected physically, and at about the level I expected emotionally. I will post about it, hopefully tomorrow. So until then.

What Do You Do When You Both Suffer With Anxiety?

Today is not a good day. I’m feeling very panicky and stressed and scared. Last night was stressful because my husband and I had a disagreement which resulted in him having a panic attack but I was being frozen in place by my own panic so I was unable to help him. Eventually I managed […]

Anxiety and Depression Are Real

I honestly can’t remember what life was like before anxiety and depression. Was I always this introverted? Was I always so insecure? Was I always so afraid of going out? I’m now intimately familiar with fear and tension. I encounter them on a daily basis. The knot I get in my stomach when I’m stressed […]

The Day After a Breakdown

Today is okay. Last night I had something of an emotional breakdown; I cried for so long, I felt in the depths of despair and experienced regular bouts of panic to top it off. It all came as a result of examining my feelings in more depth than I have in a long time. I […]

Trust Issues and Paranoia

I’m sorry it’s been a few days since my last post. I’ve been finding it hard to get motivated to write about my feelings and I’m not entirely sure why. Things with my husband are going okay, aside from the trust issues that are crippling me right now. I desperately want to trust him, and […]

Weakness Becomes Strength

Yesterday was hard for me. I was panicked for a lot of the day, the tension in my stomach never really left for long. All day I was seeking distraction, but if anything worked it was only temporary. Today is better though, thank goodness. I’m feeling more at ease with everything. It’s a relief. This […]