Kaleidoscope

Today a Health Visitor came round to see my one year old son and check his general progress. I suppose she was nice, but I found it hard to see that because in my opinion she was a bit tactless in some of her phrases, and also I just don’t like people in my house […]

Hurricanes Of Every Sort

The weather has mirrored my mood today- turbulent, grey and uninviting. Picking my daughter up from school was the worst school run I’ve done to date. The wind was ferocious and unrelenting, I had to take my daughter’s umbrella away because it was getting difficult for her to hold onto, and suffice it to say […]

The Crap Mental Illness Causes

I’m fed up with feeling this way. I’m fed up with mental illness and the crap it puts us through. I’m fed up with living a life that feels like it’s not worth living. I’m fed up with not being heard and not being understood. I’m fed up with wanting to hide away. I’m fed […]

Try Fighting. It Doesn’t Work.

I swear there’s someone up there laughing at me because my life is just such a joke it must be someone’s idea of a sick entertainment show. I’m clearly just the laughing stock of planet earth. It’s all a stupid game that I cannot win. Not when the world itself is pitted against me. You […]

You Want To Know What It Feels Like?

I have no idea how to be happy. Not really, truly happy. Not the kind of happy which endures. I have happy moments. And in those moments I feel that the rest of life’s rubbish is worth it for those few moments of calm contentment. But is it really? Should life be like this? Is […]

Anxious Thoughts and Black Feelings

I despise this world. Life is so unfair. I know I’m sounding selfish because there are so many people out there worse off than me, but I just hate it! There’s this darkness hanging over my life and I can’t shift it. When things feel like they can’t possibly get any worse, they do. My existence is […]

Life’s a Mess

Today’s definition: stressful. I’ve been reminded of how adversely I react to change and how much I rely on stability and consistency. I hate it when I’m required to handle a spontaneous change like a normal person because, newsflash, I’M NOT A NORMAL PERSON. I’m messed up and under a lot of pressure from all […]