Killing Instinct

Wading through the thick sludge that is my life, hating the pain and the impossibility of each step. Continuing anyway. Desperate for a reprieve, and yet every time I fall, every time I sink beneath the surface and become enveloped in killing darkness, instinct takes over and I thrash my way to the surface again. […]

Sleep Is My Solace

I can only get away From the blackness The pain Agony When I’m asleep Because for a few moments I’m free And I can give myself a break But lately sleep has become harder More elusive And I find myself thinking: What if one day I can’t escape What if I have to spend the […]

Swallow Me Up

I don’t want to exist anymore. I don’t want to endure another second of this pain. I can’t bear it anymore. I’m alone and my son won’t stop screaming and I am paralysed by anxiety so I can’t go to him to comfort him and there are just all these expectations of me like getting […]

Masterpiece Of Misery

I feel worthless. I feel ugly. I feel taken for granted. I feel unappreciated. I feel stupid. I feel repulsive. I feel unlovable. I feel disgusting. I feel hated. I feel a burden. I feel a disappointment. I feel unimportant. I feel like I’m drowning and nobody has noticed. Nobody looks hard enough to notice. […]

If You Look Hard Enough

I’ve had quite a relaxing day so far. My husband let me rest a lot as I’m not feeling top notch, and he cleared up loads of the mess in the kitchen before he went to work. I’m so grateful. So now I’m just chilling out counting down the minutes until I need to get […]

My Little People

I love keeping up to date with the News, but at the same time I hate it. There’s so much misery and pain and depravity in this world that sometimes it overwhelms me with this sense of hopelessness. Of course there are good things too, inspiring things, happy things etc etc, but I’m struck by […]