My Little People

I love keeping up to date with the News, but at the same time I hate it. There’s so much misery and pain and depravity in this world that sometimes it overwhelms me with this sense of hopelessness. Of course there are good things too, inspiring things, happy things etc etc, but I’m struck by […]

The Blame Game

I haven’t posted in over a week, and I have no idea what to write.  I’m not even going to attempt to cover the entire happenings since my last entry, but in a nutshell it’s been up and down. It might be easier to just pick up from today and explain how I feel now. […]

Time

My three year old girl starts pre-school tomorrow. I can’t really get my head around it. I feel too young to have a child in school. I feel too young to be doing the school run and attending parents evenings and signing permission slips and goodness knows what else. I’m only 21. I feel so […]

Death By Anxiety

My anxiety is really killing me lately. I feel tense so much of the time, and it’s practically incapacitating me. I don’t know where it’s coming from. It might be a mixture of things. But I feel like the root of it might be the fact that my little girl is starting school in just […]

The Rollercoaster of the Past Few Days

A few days ago I started communicating with my Mum again. We exchanged a few messages, had a few short conversations. It went well; we didn’t go into anything deeply, but it wasn’t superficial either which was good. It got to the point where I was just missing her so much and the relationship we […]

Hypocrisy

Life is fragile, and family is important. My goodness, I feel like such a hypocrite. I’ve been aware of multiple family feuds in my time. Some within my own family, some in my husband’s, some among people I know. And every time without fail, I’ve been so critical of those people involved. I’ve felt so […]

The Toxicity of Hate and Blame

I wonder if having someone to blame helps or hinders. I feel like the reason my anxiety and depression is as severe as it is right now is my mother. I blame her. And at times, I hate her. I hate her when I’m so overwhelmed by life that I want to cease existing. I […]

I’m Lost

I feel lost. I’m just drifting through life but I don’t know why and I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t even know who I am. There are so many voices in my head and I can’t tell what’s rational and what’s not, what’s truth and what’s anxiety. I don’t trust anyone and it’s […]