Mish-mash

I’m finding it so hard to blog at the moment. I don’t know why it’s suddenly so difficult, but I really dislike it. Blogging is helpful and therapeutic for me, as well as boosting my self esteem because I feel I’ve achieved something. So why does it take gargantuan effort to get myself to do […]

Black

I’m a paranoid mess of anger and bitterness. I’m laying here at half three in the morning because I can’t get back to sleep. All I keep thinking about is what my husband might be keeping from me. Yesterday I found evidence on his phone that he’d been chatting with a couple of women and […]

Kaleidoscope

Today a Health Visitor came round to see my one year old son and check his general progress. I suppose she was nice, but I found it hard to see that because in my opinion she was a bit tactless in some of her phrases, and also I just don’t like people in my house […]

The Crap Mental Illness Causes

I’m fed up with feeling this way. I’m fed up with mental illness and the crap it puts us through. I’m fed up with living a life that feels like it’s not worth living. I’m fed up with not being heard and not being understood. I’m fed up with wanting to hide away. I’m fed […]

You Want To Know What It Feels Like?

I have no idea how to be happy. Not really, truly happy. Not the kind of happy which endures. I have happy moments. And in those moments I feel that the rest of life’s rubbish is worth it for those few moments of calm contentment. But is it really? Should life be like this? Is […]

‘What Is The Point Of You?’

Today’s Daily Prompt asked a really interesting question: To be, to have, to think, to move – which of these verbs is the one you feel most connected to? Or is there another verb that characterises you better? Personally, I think the verb ‘to have’ characterises me, because I feel it’s what I have (or […]

Not Fulfilled

I’ve been finding it difficult to blog recently, hence my radio silence. I don’t know why. My anxiety and depression have been quite hard to deal with and I guess that’s affecting my motivation to blog. There’s not really much going on for me right now. My daughter is at school and she’s doing well, […]

What Do You Do When You Both Suffer With Anxiety?

Today is not a good day. I’m feeling very panicky and stressed and scared. Last night was stressful because my husband and I had a disagreement which resulted in him having a panic attack but I was being frozen in place by my own panic so I was unable to help him. Eventually I managed […]