Married Life

So on the bright side I managed to calm down enough to deal with my little girl last night. On the down side, I had a massive blow up with my husband this morning. We were both tired and said things we shouldn’t have, and even though he left for work on a good note […]

My Friend Fear

Let me introduce you to my friend Fear. We’re super tight, we literally go everywhere and do everything together. She’s an awesome friend; the kind that never leaves your side. Fear knows what’s best for me, even when I’m not sure myself. She’ll remind me over and over that the best way to stay safe […]

A Little Girl Seeking Validation

I spoke to my Dad today on the phone, and for the first time I was honest with him about how things are with me. I mean, I’m honest all the time, but I’m usually more generic with my responses, giving blanket answers rather than specifics. And I often downplay things a little. But today […]

State Of Mind

I had a doctor’s appointment today (unrelated to my mental health) and even though I felt on the edge of panic a few times sitting in that waiting room with strangers, I am proud to say I kept it under control, and without use of propranolol. I am making progress, I can see that, and […]

Self Abuse

I’ve been really insecure lately. I’ve been saying such horrible things about myself so many times a day, and it’s become a habit, I just insult myself without thinking. I am so quick to assume that I’m a disappointment to others. It’s really wearing on me, and on my husband too because he doesn’t like […]

Radio Silence

I’ve been pretty absent from my blog lately. I’ve been finding it difficult to sit down and put my feelings into words. But I’ll try and re-commit to doing it more often. As a brief update: my anxiety and depression is, I feel, on the mend. I’m still on medication (150mg sertraline daily) but I […]

Fighting Fear

I’ve been feeling incredibly low over the past few days. I think it’s because of my recent commitment to try my best to trust my husband again and turn over a new slate. As part of this I promised I’d do my best to stop checking up on him and searching through his phone and […]

Daze

I’m in a bit of a daze at the moment. My mood is swinging to and fro without much more than a hint of a trigger to tip the balance. I’m very sensitive and I find myself overreacting a lot. At the moment, my mood is steady which is nice. I’m trying to exist just […]