A Little Girl Seeking Validation

I spoke to my Dad today on the phone, and for the first time I was honest with him about how things are with me. I mean, I’m honest all the time, but I’m usually more generic with my responses, giving blanket answers rather than specifics. And I often downplay things a little. But today […]

Thinking

I had a pretty deep conversation with my husband yesterday. I showed him a few of my recent blog posts because I find it easier that way, it gives him an insight into my feelings that we can then build a discussion on. He was very kind and very understanding. He wasn’t defensive. I felt […]

The Day After a Breakdown

Today is okay. Last night I had something of an emotional breakdown; I cried for so long, I felt in the depths of despair and experienced regular bouts of panic to top it off. It all came as a result of examining my feelings in more depth than I have in a long time. I […]

Being a Mother

What happens when you lose your mother? I’ve lost mine. Not to death or disease or distance- to her choices. She’s changed; she’s not my mother anymore. I can’t bring myself to speak with her because it’s too painful. My fear is that communication will confirm to me how far she is from who she […]

Feeling Optimistic!

So today’s been okay so far, and since I’m feeling alright I’m determined to write a blog entry that’s positive for the first time in ages. Life is a struggle, but I am so grateful for moments like these when I’m able to keep the panic at bay. Who knows how long it will last, […]