Self Abuse

I’ve been really insecure lately. I’ve been saying such horrible things about myself so many times a day, and it’s become a habit, I just insult myself without thinking. I am so quick to assume that I’m a disappointment to others. It’s really wearing on me, and on my husband too because he doesn’t like […]

I Love Living

This will be a happy post, because happy thoughts make a person feel good. I apologise if it’s boring for anyone, you don’t have to read it because it’s mainly for my benefit. I just want to cheer up a bit. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my sisters and my […]

Clifftop

I was hoping recovery would be a straight shot to the finish line, that once I’d started it would be easy and I’d be unstoppable. I knew I was wrong, but I still hoped. But unfortunately my hope was misplaced. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I’m making progress in certain areas of my […]

Being a Mother. Being a Daughter

Day 2 of my re-commitment to blogging…and I have no idea what to write about! I guess I’ll just see where the words take me. This morning was one of the rare moments when I felt able to contact my Mum. My daughter was happily playing with a Christmas present from her (she only opened […]

Radio Silence

I’ve been pretty absent from my blog lately. I’ve been finding it difficult to sit down and put my feelings into words. But I’ll try and re-commit to doing it more often. As a brief update: my anxiety and depression is, I feel, on the mend. I’m still on medication (150mg sertraline daily) but I […]

Brightness In The Blackness

Ugh, I’m such a mess. I’m in such a horrible phase right now (at least I hope it’s a phase) where I get these seriously intense low mood patches and it’s honestly terrifying. I feel so hopeless and that there is truly nothing to live for anymore because reality is either too scary or too […]

Mish-mash

I’m finding it so hard to blog at the moment. I don’t know why it’s suddenly so difficult, but I really dislike it. Blogging is helpful and therapeutic for me, as well as boosting my self esteem because I feel I’ve achieved something. So why does it take gargantuan effort to get myself to do […]

Fighting Fear

I’ve been feeling incredibly low over the past few days. I think it’s because of my recent commitment to try my best to trust my husband again and turn over a new slate. As part of this I promised I’d do my best to stop checking up on him and searching through his phone and […]

Daze

I’m in a bit of a daze at the moment. My mood is swinging to and fro without much more than a hint of a trigger to tip the balance. I’m very sensitive and I find myself overreacting a lot. At the moment, my mood is steady which is nice. I’m trying to exist just […]

Hope: A Far-fetched Concept

I feel like a different person to the one I was a few days ago. Recent happenings have changed me and I don’t know what to do. But I know what I want. I want to trust my husband again. I want to make our marriage work. I don’t know how either of those things […]