Being a Mother. Being a Daughter

Day 2 of my re-commitment to blogging…and I have no idea what to write about! I guess I’ll just see where the words take me. This morning was one of the rare moments when I felt able to contact my Mum. My daughter was happily playing with a Christmas present from her (she only opened […]

I Feel Sick

When I think about it I feel sick. Marriage is meant to mean commitment, right? But he’s been unfaithful to me. He’s said/typed words for other people, which should only have been meant for me. He’s exchanged images with people, so that they’ve seen what should only be mine to see, and he’s seen things […]

Hope: A Far-fetched Concept

I feel like a different person to the one I was a few days ago. Recent happenings have changed me and I don’t know what to do. But I know what I want. I want to trust my husband again. I want to make our marriage work. I don’t know how either of those things […]

Black

I’m a paranoid mess of anger and bitterness. I’m laying here at half three in the morning because I can’t get back to sleep. All I keep thinking about is what my husband might be keeping from me. Yesterday I found evidence on his phone that he’d been chatting with a couple of women and […]

The Blame Game

I haven’t posted in over a week, and I have no idea what to write.  I’m not even going to attempt to cover the entire happenings since my last entry, but in a nutshell it’s been up and down. It might be easier to just pick up from today and explain how I feel now. […]

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

I have no idea what to do.  I’m seriously stuck for a way forward.  I need help. How can I trust my husband again? Is it even possible? Can I really hold out any hope for the future? Can I truly trust that he won’t cheat again? How do I recover from this? It’s been […]

Hopelessness, Hurt, Hatred

I haven’t written a post in a long time because I just don’t know what to say. I can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not anymore. I can’t tell what’s anxiety or depression and what’s really me. And part of me thinks there isn’t a real me anymore, not beyond mental illness. […]

Weakness Becomes Strength

Yesterday was hard for me. I was panicked for a lot of the day, the tension in my stomach never really left for long. All day I was seeking distraction, but if anything worked it was only temporary. Today is better though, thank goodness. I’m feeling more at ease with everything. It’s a relief. This […]