Hopelessness, Hurt, Hatred

I haven’t written a post in a long time because I just don’t know what to say. I can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not anymore. I can’t tell what’s anxiety or depression and what’s really me. And part of me thinks there isn’t a real me anymore, not beyond mental illness. […]

Jealous?

Jealousy is like a disease. Once it’s taken root inside of you, it grows. Thankfully, it’s curable. But eradicating it from your system is not easy. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re infected with jealousy until something triggers it. Suddenly and without warning, you’re racked with insecurity and fear. It cripples. It sucks the life […]

“Hello Beautiful”

Yesterday I walked into my bedroom to get ready for bed and my husband, already lying in bed, said “hello beautiful”. It made me smile like I was a little girl again. It’s not like he doesn’t tell me I’m beautiful normally because he does, so I’m not sure why this time affected me so […]

Repelled By My Reflection

Yesterday I stood in front of a tall mirror and looked at myself. And I hated what I saw. I feel ugly, I feel disgusting, I feel repulsive. I’m not writing this for attention. It helps that nobody reading this knows who I am or what I look like. I’m just trying to get these […]

Fragile, But Good

Today has been overall a positive day. There have been low and stressful moments, but it’s been surprisingly good. For the first time in ages I exercised this morning which was so great. I found that it was a great release for my pent up tension. I put so much effort into it to really […]

The Impossible Standard

We live in a world of ideals. Society has created specifications that we feel we must meet, and if we can’t then we are inferior and we fall short. Many people call it an ‘impossible standard’, and they’re right. Because if we are the sort of people who compare ourselves to others, then we will […]