Radio Silence

I’ve been pretty absent from my blog lately. I’ve been finding it difficult to sit down and put my feelings into words. But I’ll try and re-commit to doing it more often. As a brief update: my anxiety and depression is, I feel, on the mend. I’m still on medication (150mg sertraline daily) but I […]

I Feel Sick

When I think about it I feel sick. Marriage is meant to mean commitment, right? But he’s been unfaithful to me. He’s said/typed words for other people, which should only have been meant for me. He’s exchanged images with people, so that they’ve seen what should only be mine to see, and he’s seen things […]

Hope: A Far-fetched Concept

I feel like a different person to the one I was a few days ago. Recent happenings have changed me and I don’t know what to do. But I know what I want. I want to trust my husband again. I want to make our marriage work. I don’t know how either of those things […]

Black

I’m a paranoid mess of anger and bitterness. I’m laying here at half three in the morning because I can’t get back to sleep. All I keep thinking about is what my husband might be keeping from me. Yesterday I found evidence on his phone that he’d been chatting with a couple of women and […]

My Reality

Today has been another day when I have been reminded how much I despise anxiety and depression (as if I need reminding). It’s also shown me how having a cough and a sore throat, added to a great need for sleep, can exacerbate anxiety and depression considerably. And to top it off, my husband’s getting unwell too, which  triggers […]

The Blame Game

I haven’t posted in over a week, and I have no idea what to write.  I’m not even going to attempt to cover the entire happenings since my last entry, but in a nutshell it’s been up and down. It might be easier to just pick up from today and explain how I feel now. […]

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

I have no idea what to do.  I’m seriously stuck for a way forward.  I need help. How can I trust my husband again? Is it even possible? Can I really hold out any hope for the future? Can I truly trust that he won’t cheat again? How do I recover from this? It’s been […]

Waking Nightmare

I want to die. I don’t want to die. I want to escape. If death would be an escape then I want it. I want to cease to be. I want to not exist. I want this nightmare to end. But it’s my life and my reality. I can’t wake up from it. I can’t […]