I haven’t posted in a very long time. I’m not going to do an update in detail because I doubt it matters.
If anyone reads this, just know this:
I am still depressed and I am still anxious.
My life has changed in various ways and I’ve had ups and downs. But the point is I’m not better (yet?). I’m still climbing this damn hill and I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t fallen to my death yet. Well, okay, I know why. Because I’m a freak and I guess somewhere inside me I know things can get better. And I suppose evidence speaks for itself because in this impenetrable blackness that is mental illness, I catch glimpses of light sometimes. Or maybe glimpses of grey. Something not quite as black.
I read a book called ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. It’s good. Read it if you’re suffering with depression or anxiety or a mixture of the two. Read it if you’re suicidal or self harming. I read it and it helped me. I’m not better, but it did help. Just the way he managed to put into words my feelings. Anyway. Give it a try. It’s short, easy reading. The chapters are generally short too so you can read it in small segments.
Anyway. I’m blogging again. I’m the same as before but different in small ways.