Masterpiece Of Misery

I feel worthless. I feel ugly. I feel taken for granted. I feel unappreciated. I feel stupid. I feel repulsive. I feel unlovable. I feel disgusting. I feel hated. I feel a burden. I feel a disappointment. I feel unimportant.

I feel like I’m drowning and nobody has noticed. Nobody looks hard enough to notice. Nobody cares enough to look harder.

I’m invisible. I’m nothing. I’m a smudge on an otherwise perfect landscape.

I mess everything up. I mess everyone up. I’m a burden to everyone. I cause nothing but pain and misery. People deserve better.

Why should I keep living, keep breathing, when all I’m doing is taking up space and using up oxygen? I’m not contributing anything to this bleak world. I just make everything worse.

I’ve been low pretty consistently for days now. And it’s been so intense. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I feel suffocated by the pressure of this feeling. Breathing is a chore. Tears feel a few moments away. There’s nothing but this overwhelming, breathtaking hopelessness.

I want to vanish. I can’t do this anymore. I want it to end. I want to not feel like this anymore. I hate everything. But most of all I hate myself. I’m such a freak. I’m so worthless. I’m just rubbish.

I’m nothing and no one. I’m a masterpiece of misery. A flawless example of a waste of space. And I’ve overstayed my welcome on this dismal planet.

One thought on “Masterpiece Of Misery

  1. No. No no no no no. And *hugs*

    I don’t believe you mess everything and everyone up. I really don’t. We all mess some things and some people up; that’s inevitable given we’re not robots, and we don’t live in total isolation. But it sounds like depression and anxiety are trying to generalise it, and its not fair.

    You’re not unimportant, and you’re not worthless. Just by posting here and sharing your experiences, you bring understanding, knowledge and comfort to who knows how many people.

    I’m so sorry you feel this low. I know how guttingly painful it can be. I hope it does pass, and soon xxx

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