I’m finding it so hard to blog at the moment. I don’t know why it’s suddenly so difficult, but I really dislike it. Blogging is helpful and therapeutic for me, as well as boosting my self esteem because I feel I’ve achieved something. So why does it take gargantuan effort to get myself to do it nowadays? It’s so aggravating.
My marriage is still a little on the rocks, but I do feel confident still that we’ll overcome our issues. I’m making progress in other areas of my life too- I’ve gone out without my husband a few times, which is huge for me. I feel proud that I’ve been able to do it. And even though I know I’m nowhere near better, it’s comforting to see progress somewhere. At least there’s some sign I’m getting somewhere, albeit slowly.
My GP referred me for some perinatal psychiatric therapy, but as my son is now over a year old they felt their service wouldn’t be suitable for me. So they referred me through to my local Let’s Talk: Wellbeing service, who booked me in for a telephone consultation, which took place last week. I’ve now heard back from them that they don’t feel suitable for my needs either (they only offer 6 sessions of talking therapy, whereas they feel I need something more long-term), so they’ve referred me to a ‘secondary care’ provider, where hopefully I can finally get seen and get some therapy. I’m hoping for some form of counselling, as I’ve had it before and saw clear benefits from it in my life. I’ve tried CBT in the past too, but I don’t feel it’s for me, at least not now anyway.
So basically my life is still a mish-mash of highs and lows, but I’m hopeful that things will improve someday.