Panicking

I hate feeling so tense it’s causing physical pain. I hate having to fight so hard not to descend into a panic attack. I hate not being able to just cry it out because I’m in a public place. I hate having to be so fake for people. I hate how they ask how I am but I know they don’t really mean it, they’re just following societal etiquette. I hate that I feel like I’m just acting and nobody cares. I hate being watched and spoken to when all I want is to curl up and forget I exist. I hate being trapped. I hate being here. I hate being where I don’t feel safe and I can’t be me.

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