So, another week begins. Sometimes I find Mondays difficult because they’re a beginning. I don’t like thinking about the unknown ahead of me, whether it’s a day, a week, a month or a year. Thinking about the long stretches of time in front of me is frightening, so I try not to. The future feels like it’s beyond my control, and that scares me too. I find that the only way I can avoid panicking about the future is to take life one moment at a time. I face each day as it comes and try not to plan too far ahead.
Today has felt like a pretty successful day. I’ve achieved a lot of things I don’t normally achieve in a day, and that brings a definite sense of satisfaction. I know that how much I do in a day doesn’t matter as long as I try my best, and my ‘best’ fluctuates greatly from one day to the next.
It’s interesting to me that the normal, seemingly simple tasks that come every day with being a wife and mother can one day be harmless and the next day terrifying. Some days, just the fact that I have two little people that are completely dependent on me is enough to panic me, but other days I find myself able to handle it a lot better.
Anxiety is cruel really, because having one positive day doesn’t mean the next one will be too. But one thing I’ve heard said multiple times about struggling with anxiety is that a successful day isn’t just a day when the symptoms leave us alone. A successful day is one where the symptoms come, but we carry on anyway and make it through. Success is measured by the enduring of challenges that stand in our way. And sometimes just living through one moment to the next can be a huge challenge, and so when that’s the case let’s try and keep in our minds that if we can persevere through it, we’ve achieved a huge amount. Each day we survive while being attacked by problems such as anxiety and depression is a success.