When I saw this on my Reader today it really touched me, so I thought I’d share it along with some of my thoughts concerning it.
One of the biggest parts of anxiety is fear – sometimes it’s so overwhelming that you can’t think of anything else! And for me, a lot of that fear comes from feeling helpless and out of control. There’s been some pretty tough stuff going on with my parents lately that’s resulted in them deciding to separate, and it’s been an incredibly low time for me and it’s really intensified my anxiety and depression. My Mum in particular is in a very dark place, she’s feeling very confused and she’s made mistakes, and I feel like I don’t recognise her anymore. If I could, I would absolutely ‘grab hold’ of the sun and illuminate her life for her. If I could, I would pick her up and carry her out of the darkness to safety. But, unfortunately, I can’t. We can’t make people’s choices for them.
My Mum’s actions have caused me considerable pain, but I know that she’s in pain, too. It’s funny how love works, because if I could do anything to help her I would do it. I would forget in an instant all the hurt she’s caused me just to aid her in her struggle, even though I feel like she doesn’t care too much about me right now. Love brings pain sometimes, but it can bring so much joy too. My children make me laugh and they make me cry, they bring me stress and also a great deal of happiness.
But life is like that, isn’t it? Up and down, all the time. And I think that’s what makes it beautiful.